Genres of Popular Music, Explained

Simple guide to musical genres:

  • Pop: The singer can’t hold a tune in a bucket, so the producer fixes it with auto-tune. When they tour, all the vocals are lip-synched.
  • Indie: The singer can’t hold a tune in a bucket, so sings completely out of tune both on record and live. Because that’s “for real”.
  • Rock: The singer can’t hold a tune in a bucket, so gets sacked from the band before they get past the toilet circuit. They keep auditioning replacements until they manage to find someone who can actually sing.

Or am I just getting cynical in my old age?

7 Responses to “Genres of Popular Music, Explained”

  1. Barry Beatmaster Says:

    “Indie: The singer can’t hold a tune in a bucket, so sings completely out of tune both on record and live.”- and he gets called a “genius” for his crappy singing.

  2. Mike Bowstead Says:

    Rap: Singer? What’s a singer?

  3. Tim Hall Says:

    Prog: Everyone’s so busy listening to the solos or the fact that the rhythm section can play in 13/8 that nobody notices if the singer can hold a tune in a bucket or not.

  4. Tim Hall Says:

    Trad Folk: See “Indie”

  5. Serdar Says:

    Noise: There’s no tune. There isn’t even a bucket for it to be carried in.

  6. Tim Hall Says:

    Guns and Roses - The singer is having trouble with tunes because the guitar player insists on wearing the bucket on his head….

  7. Chris Says:

    Pop - the drummer hits things,
    Rock - the drummer hits things,
    Indie - the drummer hits things,
    Rap - they use a machine,

    Nice to see you blogging again. Coudln’t have said all that on Twitter ;-)

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